P&P: Compassion
Compassion is a trait that is often overlooked or undervalued, but its far-reaching effects in the world can never be overstated. Compassion is about the deep recognition that we are all in on life together— each of us experiencing our own hardships and internal struggles, each of us trying to survive and function in the world the best way we know how to. Furthermore, compassion involves a strong desire to help relieve others from their suffering.
Compassion is a natural instinct within all of us. It is one way in which we can cultivate more poise and elegance. In fact, compassion is the first principle of ‘Poise & Purpose.’ [You can read more about my other principles here.]
Through compassion, we can create a more graceful presence— one that puts the people around us at ease. And as we become present with awareness, we can meet others in a space of shared understanding.
Begin by letting go of judgement. This will help us explore new ways of relating with others. Choose to be interested and curious. Ask questions for clarification. Speak less and listen more.
Offer support without feeling the need to provide answers. Making sure that the person feels seen and heard is how you can be most helpful. Put forth a calm and friendly demeanor. Smiling and making eye contact can go a long way.
Avoid partaking in gossip. This act can be harmful and instantly take us out of poise. It usually comes from a space of judgement and the absence of compassion. Gossip is unfair to the person who isn’t there to defend him/herself. Therefore, any assumptions made may be taken as actual truth. You can elegantly remove yourself from this activity by remaining silent or changing the subject.
During an interpersonal conflict, practice patience. Shifting to a non-reactive state will delay our reactions to any negative stimuli. As we reside in this space of observation, we become less rigid and more flexible. This opens the door to deeper understandings, and we can handle the stressful situation with more elegance and gracious tact. In the end, you may not agree with the person, but you can at least see their point with greater clarity.
Although compassion is a natural instinct in all of us, there are things you can do to help improve your ability to to feel compassion for both yourself and others. It takes time and practice to refine this trait. Mindfulness coaching and meditation can help.
Acting on feelings of compassion does not only benefit the people around you. It can also contribute to a greater sense of purpose in your own life. You are a significant part of society and your poise has immeasurable impact. Being open to feeling what others are feeling can help you create more meaningful connections.